Thursday, May 5, 2011

Naturally Beautiful

This isn't me in case you're confused (!).

Many of you know that I've been waffling back and forth trying to decide what to do with my hair. The only thing I was sure of was that I was tired of the brittle, broken, unhealthy mass that sat on my head and dared call itself hair. I stopped relaxing it in January, but still couldn't commit to cutting it. There were patches at the top and back where my hair had just fallen out. Still, I couldn't cut it.

I searched the internet for hours to see what could be done with very short, very curly, natural hair. I searched for ways to make it grow strong and healthy. I searched for ways to make me feel good about the whole process. I must have spent 20 hours total combing the internet, no pun intended. Then, on Tuesday, May 3 I said, "I'm done!" I called a friend and asked her to cut it all off.

So now, I sit here with very short, very curly, un-relaxed, natural hair...and I LOVE IT! Sure, I was afraid to leave the house the first two days, but I got over that. Today, in fact. I'm so proud of myself for even walking out the door and allowing other people to see me with the shortest hair I've had since my oldest son was a baby, and never was it natural. No, that's not true. My hair was natural up until about age eleven, so that's 28 years since then.

Lots of new beginnings happening for me.

While I was doing my research on natural hair, I came across some disturbing trends in the "Natural Hair" world. It seems that in their quest for hair freedom, many women have come out on the other extreme of self-hatred. I found that many women who were "happily" natural find it necessary to look down their noses on women who are not. They call them "slaves to the perm" and proclaim that women who relax their hair are addicted to "that creamy crack." One woman who has a YouTube channel and website devoted to giving tutorials for natural hairstyles and selling all-natural hair care products received a horrible backlash when her website offered colorful fake hair clip-ons. How can she be natural with a piece of fake hair in her head? they asked.

Are they serious?

I find it very disturbing that a group of women who supposedly decided to embrace their natural hair because they didn't want society or anyone else defining beauty for them are now judging other women for doing the same thing: defining beauty for themselves. Somebody is sorely missing the point.

If I want to embrace my God-given beauty and decide for myself what beauty means to me, that doesn't give me any right to judge what another woman decides is beautiful to her. She has every right to relax, weave, perm her hair as I have not to. Just because my hair is now natural, oh, don't think I won't still put a wig on my head from time to time. I'm still a goddess, after all. 

It's my choice. And no one has a right to take it away from me. Don't let others judge you for your choices. Good or bad, they belong to you.

Until next week(ish),
Feed on love, subsist on peace.

P.S. I'm rocking that Ph.D course! Just got 100% on my first exam. Yay me!


  1. Couple of super great products you might check out - African Royale's Hot Six Oil - and pretty much anything by Mixed Chicks. FAB-U-LOUS products all.

  2. Good for you! Where's a picture of YOU?!! Check out Olivia in India, a poetry blogger friend of mine, who just shaved her head!

  3. Congrats for tossing fear aside and taking the plunge.
    (And if a natural sister ever wants to give you grief for rocking a wig, let your Hyde side ask her "How natural can you be if you are eating all that processed food?" That will shut the nonsense down.)

  4. never be a slave to fashion...

    from a guy that also has naturally curly hair...

    embrace the look!

    you will be hot to me no matter what, cuz intelligence can not be faked or permed or dyed...

    rock on with your bad self!

  5. I would love to see how gorgeous you look with curls. I have always had straight hair and spent a fortune getting perms when i was younger. Now it is all about colour as I am not ready to embrace what I know is a massive amount of grey
    Congrats on the 100%. You are amazing

  6. Rabs- Thanks, honey! I've been researching products for natural hair and that stuff is expensive. Now I can weed through the BS and go straight to the best.

    Lolamouse- Someone broke into hubby's car and stole the accessories to his camera. I can take pics for as long as the battery lasts, but still can't transfer them to my computer. Plus, I'm a big chicken.

    Sulli- Yes, I will definitely have to let the Hyde out if something like that happens. Good one about the processed food.

    Bruce- Did you just bust out with a line from "Afro Puffs?" You surprise me a little more everyday.

    Yesterday- Thank you!

    Mynx- Thanks! As soon as I get control of my inner chicken, I'll post some pics. :)

  7. Congratulations on your exam! I'm with you on the natural hair comments. It's one thing to embrace what you have, it's another to judge someone because they've made a different choice. I'm actually in the process of a new hairstyle myself. And although I don't have to relax my hair, I still have a frizzy mess that I don't know what to do with!

  8. Way to go on the 100%, that is so awesome!!

    Also woohoo on the big change! The last time I walked into a salon I had hair down to my bottom, I plopped my but down in that chair and said "Give me a pixie cut!" It's amazing how just a hair change can alter little bits of everything else around you too!!!

  9. may you find the best looks that fit you ^^

    I have followed your blog..Could you follow mine too please? Also check out my guest blogging contest to see if you are interested!

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  10. beauty is what we make it, you're so right. i've always been a little jealous of people with interesting hair. mine's always been completely flat and kinda boring. one time when i permed it, this guy i knew looked down his nose at me for doing such a thing, made me feel like i wasn't worth his time any more. not sure what's wrong with people sometimes. i think it takes a certain amount of stupidity to be that judgmental.


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