Sunday, October 3, 2010
Operation: For the Love of Me
Today I did something that I haven't done in at least ten years. I cut my hair. What's so unique and special about that is what came next. Cutting my hair prompted me to embark on a year-long journey to self-love; Operation: For the Love of Me. It made me think about all of the things that I do out of love for others. I cook because I love my family and I want them to have nutritious meals. I'm active in the PTA because I love my children and I want to ensure they have quality educations. I've been on a quest to find my signature fragrance because I love my husband and I want to smell good for him. I even write this blog because I love my fellow man and I want you to be happy.
What, though, have I done out of love for me? Don't wait too long for the answer because I'm still thinking. Like many women, I've left myself for last and then, eventually, completely forgotten about myself. I don't remember the last time I laughed until I cried. No, wait. I was watching an episode of Scare Tactics that had tears streaming down my cheeks. Unfortunately, that was about three months ago. At least. So to remedy this, I have decided that for the next 365 days, I will do something to care for and cherish and honor me.
I've started with my hair. I have worn wigs and/or weaves for at least the past ten years. My favorite saying was, "There is no excuse for a bad hair day." If you happened to see me strolling around Lake Montebello, you might have seen my real hair. But only if I didn't happen to have a cute ponytail to clip onto my own. So...twice. After years of gluing, sewing, clipping, drawstring-ing, and braiding, my hair was unhealthy to say the least. It fell out a few times at the top and back, it thinned out considerably, and I had started getting those bald edges that you see when one braids her hair a lot. My hair was shoulder-length with split ends, about two inches long at the top, and as thin as a newborn baby's. So I cut it off.
Here is a picture of me before.
Note the long, luxurious hair masking the thin, unhealthy hair. Pretty neat trick, wouldn't you say? Oh, and making it worse I might add.
Here's a picture of me today.
Wait for it...
Just to drive the point home, here are a few more.
It's what I call on-my-way-to-healthy. You have no idea how hard it was for me to post these pictures. Nobody but my immediate family has seen my actual hair for years. I wouldn't leave the house unless I had some sort of apparatus on my head. If someone knocked on my door and my hair wasn't all weaved up, I would kill anyone who dared open the door without first giving me time to put on a wig. I didn't care who it was either, my kids' friends, the mailman, the cable guy, my in-laws. Nobody was allowed to see the real me. I wonder why that was?
Was it because for all my positive talk on this blog, I still didn't think the real me was good enough? Let's explore that over the next year, shall we?
I've made a list of all the things I believe I need in order to be healthy. This is just the jumping off point, so I may see the need in the future to add more.
1. Drink eight glasses of water/day
2. Take Vitamin D pills (my doctor swears by them)
3. Exercise one hour/day
4. Eat more healthy foods than nutritionally-challenged foods
5. Wash my hair twice/week
6. Trim my hair every six weeks
7. Grant myself the time to soak in the tub at least three times/week.
8. Meditate for 15 minutes/day
9. Write something everyday be it a page, poem, prayer, chant, or grocery list
10. Forgive one person/day
11. Forgive myself for one thing/day and write it down so I won't forget it.
12. Listen to my children's actual voices for 10 minutes/day. This may seem weird, but I realized the other day that the whole day had gone by and I hadn't actually spoken to my oldest son. We had sent several text messages, though.
13. Hug my family everyday
14. Listen to my husband vent/rant about his job for 10 minutes/day
15. Tell more jokes. I don't think I'm funny, so this won't be an easy one.
16. Spend less time around vampires. Yes, I said vampires. You know those people who suck all the energy and life right out of you? Vampires.
I'm inviting all of you to join me. Let's make this the biggest movement our generation has seen. OPERATION: FOR THE LOVE OF ME!!!!!!
And in the spirit of keeping my promise to myself, here's a joke: