Thursday, July 7, 2011
“Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead.” You've heard me quote this before, haven't you? That is a verse from one of my favorite songs by the artist Pink. I listen to this song every day and sing it at the top of my lungs, as if those powerful words are coming from my very heart. You see, I have always known the right words to say; I have always known the correct actions to take. I was at the top of my Psychology classes in college. I was an avid Oprah viewer. I have always been the person to whom everyone came for advice. My problem has never been knowing. My problem, instead, has been doing. Or, not doing, if you will.
During the course of my studies, I learned that procrastination is a symptom of unhealthy self-esteem. I knew I was a procrastinator and I knew my self-esteem was non-existent, but I'd never correlated the two. I would put off any activity that would affect me in a positive way. For instance, it took me five years to write my novel because I kept starting and stopping the creative process. Now that it’s finished, it’s taken me another two years to get up the nerve to send out query letters to literary agents. I even put off completing my PhD courses when I know my goal is to finish the degree program before my fortieth birthday.
I have also come to realize that I have been an impostor. I smile and go about each day pretending that I’m the happiest person alive, when inside I am berating myself for how much weight I’ve gained and how I’ve done nothing with my life. I’ve been unhappy for a large part of my life, but to the outside world, I am cheerful and friendly.
Starting today, I'm going to do things a little differently. We've been creating positive affirmations in one of my courses and my new, positive affirmation is this: “I am a strong, healthy, happy, and capable woman. In a word, I am perfect - just as I am. When I set my mind on a goal, I work at it until I have accomplished it. I can and will do any great thing I decide to do. I, alone, am responsible for my life and I choose to make that life a great one. I choose happiness. I choose to love myself unconditionally.”
Won't you create a positive affirmation, too? Together we will tell our inner voices that we are the ones in charge. Every time it whispers something negative in our ears, we will counteract that negative with something powerfully positive.
Let's choose happiness.
We deserve it.
Until next time,
Feed on love, subsist on peace.