I Am What I Am

You know how people always say, "It is what it is"? That saying drives me crazy. I don't know if it's because it's so overused or because it's a vague, catchall that has basically come to mean "I don't know what else to say, so I'm done with this conversation." I dislike it, and because I dislike it, I'd tossed it into the useless-words pile along with 'diva' and 'soul mate.'


Today, though, something happened that made me reconsider throwing that axiom away.


I visited a website called Cafe Astrology.com to obtain my natal chart. A natal chart gives you more than just your zodiac sign and it's basic characteristics. It's a detailed compilation of who you are astrologically. Say what you want about astrology, but I believe you are missing out on some valuable information that could very well help you understand yourself by dismissing it.


This chart didn't give me a general description of the person I may or not be, it broke me down into little chunks and explained why I am the way I am. It didn't just say that I love my family, but I've had many challenges in my life. That's a given for most people. No, it was surprisingly accurate. For instance, this is what it says about me as a person born when the planet Mars was in the sign of Taurus:


"It is almost impossible to get these people moving once they've made up their minds on a matter. You want them to go shopping with you? Unfortunately for you, about half an hour back, they've kicked up their heels, changed into something comfortable, and they simply won't budge."


I was giddy with excitement when I read that because I do that to people ALL THE TIME! I'm talking that very specific example that was given. Yes, that one. I do it all the time. I have a friend who will call sometimes and ask me to run to the store with her. If I've already changed my clothes and gotten comfy, she can forget it. Still not convinced? Try this one: for about four years I was a huge fan of Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens. I was such a fan that the only thing that stopped me from being a groupie was my marriage. (I've told you before that hubby keeps me out of trouble) Well, one day hubby and some friends were at Ray Lewis' restaurant and he came in. They struck up a conversation with him and soon he was seated at their table laughing, drinking, and having a good time like old friends. Hubby, awesome guy that he is, told Mr. Lewis that his wife was a very big fan, to which Mr. Lewis responded, "Call her up and tell her to come down here so I can meet her."


Hubby calls me up and relays the message. Normally, I'd be ecstatic and would have flown down there on adrenaline alone. But...I had already undressed and gotten comfortable for the evening and I didn't have any plans to leave the house again that night. I thought about all I'd have to do. Get dressed, put on full make-up, drive 20 minutes..."You know what? Just tell Ray I said 'hey'."


I can't tell you how peaceful I feel after reading the report. Many times either people have asked me or I've asked myself why do you do that? Or why are you like that? Normally, I'd hunch my shoulders and offer a confused facial expression that says 'when you find out, let me know.' Now I do know. After reading that because of when and where I was born, I "feel the need to 'redo'" myself often and that I "cannot stay in the same place, likes change even if it means a backward step in her professional career," I know precisely why I do the things I do. 


It's because I am what I am. I am who I am. I was born to be the type of woman who rocks a long, auburn weave this week and a short, black pixie cut the next week. I was born to be a person who wants to live in every American state and several different countries. I was born to be the friend who loves you very much, but will not get out of bed at 5 AM to take you to the airport. 


I am who I am. Which means, I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be. So...


I don't have to stop daydreaming in the middle of the afternoon. I don't have to stay in the same job for 30 years. I can paint my living room a different color on a whim. I can change the way I dress and cut my hair every eighteen months. I can get a job in yet another industry if I am so inclined. I can go back to school and major in something entirely different. 


And it's okay. Really, it is. I'm only being me.


Go ahead, my friends. Keep your saying, "it is what it is." Keep referring to yourselves and others as 'divas.' Keep pronouncing every man you meet as your 'soul mate.' You're just doing something you were born to do. You're just being you.


And that's okay. You're okay. You are who you are.


By the way, my chart also stated that I often get bored, I am mischievous and even precocious and as such, I am easily led astray. I just wanted my husband to keep that in mind the next time he has to come to my rescue. 


I'm a handful, I know, but he loves being my hero.






Until next week,
Feed on love, subsist on peace.