Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Please Love Me
Recently I had occasion to surf the web for information about Wicca. Don't stop reading. I have no intention of becoming a witch or trying to convert you to witchdom. I find the religion quite interesting, though. I'm in love with knowledge and I revel at the chance to learn something new. Anyway, my husband says that if I do convert to Wicca, I'll be doing it alone. I can't imagine being a lonely old witch.
In my research I found several interesting facts, one of them being the Wiccan Rede which states, "An it harm none, do as ye will." It means do as you'd like as long as your actions don't hurt anyone, including yourself. I think that's awesome. Any religion that discourages its members from harming themselves or others is okay by me.
What struck me as most intriguing were the FAQ pages. Every page on every website I visited, every single one, had this question: Can I cast a spell to make someone love me? A wave of sadness washed over me each time I read that question. Can I make someone love me?
I was sad because I've known that inconsolable urgency for somebody, anybody to love me. In fact, I've always had a penchant for things I can't or shouldn't have, especially men. When a person constantly pursues unavailable men or women, some say that he/she has commitment issues. I don't know about that, but I do know this: when you tell me I can't have something, I feel a deep sense of deprivation. I want it more; I need it more. That's an instinct I believe most of us share. If you're deprived of oxygen, watch how your body struggles to get it with increasing desperation. You need it or you will surely die, so you fight that much harder to get the thing you so fiercely need.
I'll give you a pass on the basic necessities of water, food, shelter and air, but the rest of it has got to end. Not only is it a vicious, counterproductive cycle, it's almost irreparably damaging to your self-esteem. Why would you want a person who had to be forced to love you? Every time you think you're in love, you'll realize it's a lie. Every time you see a couple who is truly committed to each other, you'll wish you had what they have. Why have make-believe happiness when you could have actual happiness? You deserve a partner who loves you of his/her own free will because you are wonderful, kind, generous, loving, appreciative, funny and most of all, satisfied with the person you are. If you were your best self (thanks Oprah), would you choose the same person or would you choose someone who was in awe of the wonder that is you? And one last question, if the shoe was on the other foot, would you like to be forced into an imitation love? I think not. I say love and let love...naturally.
No one wants to be alone. I get that. Being one half of a couple can be a mind-numbingly amazing experience IF it is a mutually agreed upon venture. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." That one's from the Bible.
By the way, the Wiccan's answer to that question is no. You're not allowed to manipulate, dominate, or control another person. I think that's pretty awesome, too.
If you would like more information on this or any other religion, go to www.religioustolerance.org. Tell them I sent you.
Feed on love; subsist on peace.